Tall Tales and Short Stories

These are stories about different events in my life. Some are in fiction form due to the age of the writer at the time of the event in relation to the memory of the writer at the time of writing. Age does that sometimes. Enjoy the stories and provide some feedback.

Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas, United States

July 10, 2006

Hank Frank From Odessa

On a family trip to Shreveport, LA to visit cousins, my father hatched another of his pranks. Upon arrival, he promptly went to the phone and called our single, dateless cousin, Brenda. She was sweetest of all of my cousins. University educated, she had a strange gullibility, almost too trusting. And Dad took advantage of her predicament.

"Uh. Hello. Is this Brenda?" he asked while disguising his voice.

"Yes it is. Who is this?" Brenda replied.

"My name is Hank Frank. I’m from Odessa," Dad said. "My friend is a salesman and he told me to give you a call when I got to town. Uh. Would you like to go to a movie or dinner or something?"

"Who is your friend?" Brenda queried.

"Oh, his name is David. He’s a salesman for Dresser Industries," Dad answered. "He said that you would be someone I would really like. He thought we would have a lot in common."

And so it went. Dad poured on the charm for five minutes, continually drawing Brenda in to his web. When he hung up the phone, Hank had a date for the night.

An hour later, Brenda arrived at her parent’s house to say "hi" to us before her "date." Her hair coiffed perfectly; her dress fit to accentuate her… ahem… assets. Even her shoes were chosen to impress. She floated into the house; the corners of her smile nearly touching her ears; the shine in her eyes lit the dimly lit room.

"Are you going out with Hank?" Dad asked.

Suddenly, the light disappeared, the hair fell, and the dress literally shifted. Brenda just stared while her mind tried to process this newfound information.

"CURTIS!" Her realization set in.

We all busted up in laughter.

"That’s just not right. I should have known."


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